However, since I talk to about 20 different people a day, five days a week, the jokes get repeated often and the patter is developing into something akin to a well-rehearsed standup routine (albiet, not a particularly funny one), tailored to whom I’m talking to. This has the advantage of allowing me to successfully sell even when my brain isn’t even remotely in gear, as I can do a half-decent job on auto-pilot. The down side is that, when you have an auto-pilot, it’s so much easier to make a complete tit out of yourself by not concentrating on what you’re doing.
Take today, for example, when I was taking back a pair of headphones that someone had bought in error. I was taking down the name and address for the return and my customer told me that his name was Maddock. Because I’m a big sports fan, my brain tends to connect names to sportsmen/women and I’ll often reference this in my patter (unless the name’s something like Wilkinson or Beckham, in which case, I’ll assume that they get it all the time and don’t need it here as well. Obscure ones always get referenced). So, I checked the surname by saying, "Maddock – like the rugby player?" to which I got an assent.
It was about a minute later, as I was progressing through the paperwork, that my brain kicked back in and noted that this gentleman has a very pronounced New Zealand accent, was strongly built and appeared of Maori descent. It also noted that Maddock is not a particularly common name, especially among Maoris who live in Bath.
"Sorry sir, I just wanted to check that I haven’t said something really stupid. You’re not Joe Maddock the rugby player, are you? You are? Oh. Hi. Sorry. I’m not a Bath fan; that’s my excuse."
Mr Maddock, if you’re reading this, I am sorry.
PJW
PS. In other news – check out how cool this is. We have one of these in work, on display. And I made that happen! Okay, so I don’t get paid as well as I could, but my job could be far worse.
Bet you felt silly!
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